Last day of May!

Haven’t we already posted a memory? Oh well. 

Back in 2007 my ex adopted a dog that some friends had taken in off the street. I didn’t want a dog. I grew up with cats. Much less a stray off the street. We weren’t married yet and I wasn’t very happy about it. I didn’t know anything about dogs.

I have no idea what I was upset about, but not too long after he took her home I was ugly-crying on his living room floor and she walked over and leaned against me. It was my first experience with the love and emotional support that a dog can give. 

 

 

On letting go

Well, I’ve learned to let a lot of things go over the past few years, many of which I have mentioned or hinted at already.

But in the past year, co-habitating with a new boy, I’ve learned to let go certain expectations.

(from a google image search)

Perhaps “giving up” also would apply, but I’ve come to the conclusion that if I want the apartment to maintain a certain base level of cleanliness it’s pretty much all up to me. So I do the dishes after dinner in the evening. I pick up the clothes left lying around the living room. I offer to include any clothes he may need washed with mine (though I’ve learned that if I go two weeks between my own loads he’ll do his own). I’ll sweep the back patio if I want to enjoy it and toss the empty cigarette packs and everclear bottles left from a weekend of drinking. I’ll remove the leftovers that have sat in the fridge for two weeks.

It’s amazing how much infatuation can blind you to the state of their apartment. Looking back I don’t know how I didn’t see the warning signs. But trust me, they will not be missed again.

 

My name in music

It’s late and I just randomly thought of something to post for today: five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories.

First up is James Taylor’s Going to Carolina. My dad used to sing it to me at bed time, just like my brother got to hear his Sweet Baby James.

Somewhere in middle school there arrived The Offsprings Pretty Fly for a White Guy on MTV and it set off a huge and continuing love for the band.

Incubus’ Aqueous Transmission actually inspired my undergraduate application essay.

The Beatles’ Blackbird is the epitome of bittersweet. It was and is my absolutely favorite song that Jason would play on guitar. (Although he was damn sexy doing Muse’s Hysteria on the base.)

And now, with my birthday next week, I’d have to say that Jimmy Buffett’s version of Sweet Caroline is very timely. Beginning two years ago, my friends started a tradition of having serenading me with it on my birthday.

In 2011 it involved actually being lifted up on a chair

Let’s not judge the bangs. They’re a lesson that it has taken a long time to learn.

Last year was a smaller gathering, but they still made it happen.

This year I got it a few weeks early at karaoke a few weeks ago.

Oh you bet there’s a video

That followed by Leaving on a Jet Plane, but that’s a story which is still in the works.

My 3 worst traits

I get it from my mom

Not a morning person. Seriously. Don’t f-ing talking to me before I’ve eaten.

Perfectionist. This manifests in procrastination and an inability to admit when I’m wrong (though that’s starting to change).

I love this cartoon

A lack of sociability. This stems from being an introvert, but I really do just need to disconnect for a bit when I get home from work or from another event. If boyfriend has friends over when I get home from work I’ll either need to pour myself a drink or go hide in my room for an hour or so before I can hang out (or both). But this can also stem as quite the cold shoulder in group settings. Apparently I’m the intimidating one when interviewing potential student workers even though I’m almost as nervous as they are!

 

My rant

I’m back! I honestly try to disconnect as much as I can on weekends (which for me are Sundays and Mondays) and rarely open my computer, so it figures that I eventually dropped the ball on the daily blogging efforts.

But day 22 calls for a rant. Android’s lack of updates for slightly older phones tends to irritate me, but I can get a new phone in a month, so it’s really not a big deal. 

Let’s talk instead about the way some people treat their dogs. 

Monday morning my boyfriend found this little guy wandering around near the maintenance shed when he was walking his dog:

 

So I started calling nearby leasing offices to tell them we’d found a puppy in case their residents said they lost one and left my contact information. 

On the way back from the grocery we stopped to chat with one of the maintenance guys, who just happened to give him his sub earlier in the day because poor puppy is clearly starving

 

He moved slightly as I took the picture, but you can clearly count his ribs and his poor shoulders and pelvis totally stand out. The maintenance guy said he thought the puppy was left by a guy who didn’t pay his rent. 

I know puppies can be expensive, I’ve had Ollie since he was about 6 weeks old, trust me I know. It makes me so sad that I can’t save them all, but to give one a home and just abandon it? That’s just plain shitty. 

As sweet as Puppy is, I already have two dogs that I’m trying to move halfway across the country with and I don’t know how easily I can find a place that will let me have three dogs in one apartment. Thankfully I have a couple of people who are interested in adopting him. He’s staying with my ex for now, who has a yard and another dog who is less than a year old and he’s strongly considering adopting Puppy himself. I kind of thought that might happen 🙂

A childhood memory

I’m nearing the end of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, and it made me think of one dinner my family and I had of the trip we took to Disney World many years ago. 

When I was a kid I took a book with me everywhere. Reading a restaurant dinner table was completely normal in my mind because I’d never been told differently. 

My family went to dinner at the restaurant in our hotel one night, the Wilderness Lodge, and I took my book with me, just like I would have at home. 

via

The waiter arrived to take our drink order and told me to put my book down, I should be enjoying time with my family since I was on a family vacation. I put my book down, waited for him to walk away, and then walked out to the garden behind the lobby, desperately trying to hold back my tears until I made it through the lobby, away from people. My dad followed (or was the one who suggested going outside in the first place?) and helped calm me down and eventually we went back inside. 

Needless to say we did not linger over dinner. I’m sure the guy was just teasing, but to my fragile, 12-year-old heart it was genuine criticism. In part because it made sense. 

I didn’t intend this to be a sad or upsetting memory, just another reflection of how I’ve grown. I’m even getting to the point where I’ll go get a drink by myself if no one is available to join me on a random Wednesday night.

Yoga followed by wine, it really is the best.

 

My favorite photo of myself

When I saw this prompt I immediately knew which one I wanted to post. It just took a little digging in the back of my closet to find it. 

 

I grew up with a neighbor who was able to took riding lessons and thanks to her I fell in love with horses and the Saddle Club series of books. Another friend had a birthday weekend at her family’s house at Big Canoe (or Bent Tree?) when we were 14 and I finally got to ride a horse! I think the expression on my face says it all!

In other thoughts, where can I get a ton of old photos scanned so that I can post them to Facebook and embarrass all my friends (for super cheap, of course!)?

 

Blog day 16

Something difficult about my lot in life and how you’re working to overcome it… hmmm.

I’ve made some decisions in the past that I used to seriously want a time-machine to remedy. I would have gone to a different college. Not gotten back together with an old boyfriend (being out of state at a different college would have helped). Not said yes when he proposed… Majored in something different. Maybe even drawn out the separation and not gotten the divorce papers signed. (I’m way past that regret now, but having the option six months ago…)

Poor decision making, yes, but I don’t regret it as much anymore. I’ve worked hard to make a new path for myself by working full time and taking undergraduate classes for the past five years. Having a lofty goal to work towards and a new plan for my life makes the past not matter so much. 

If I’d majored in science the first time around I wouldn’t have had to take so many classes here at UGA, but I also might not have gotten into CSU as easily (they like a few years of real-world experience under your belt). 

If I hadn’t gotten married I’d probably still be in Atlanta in a similarly dead-end job, but still going home every weekend for dinners and with no goal for my future. As poorly as the message was delivered, Jason was the one who really pushed me to do something more with my life.

I still adore that dress.

If we hadn’t gotten divorced he’d be pushing even harder to start a family, and then grad school really wouldn’t ever happen for me. We’d be stuck in this small town forever, a place I’ve been sick of for years.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it just takes a little while to gain the perspective required to see it.

A day in my life

Forgive the old pictures. I should perhaps start looking ahead at the post topic for the next day.

I usually get up at about 7, depending on the day. Take the dogs out to pee. Start coffee and fry three eggs. Feed the dogs. I typically have a piece of fruit while the eggs cook. 

Just ignore the smoothie.

I sit, eat, read, and drink for a lovely, quiet hour before taking the dogs back out and changing out of pajamas to either head to the gym (about three days a week) or walk the dogs a mile or two.

From way back in October! Clearly not pleased about how many more reps I was supposed to do.

Home, shower, makeup, hair. Often a protein smoothie if I lifted weights. Put together lunch. Then work where I pretty much sit and read blogs all day. 

 

Lunch typically involves an hour spent with a book either outside in the shade or in an armchair in the back. 

More work!

Home at 7:00 where I reheat whatever I made earlier in the week and return to my book (and now that Rob is on day shift, try to ignore whatever is coming out of the tv). I also try to ignore the sugar cravings I’m trying to work through.

At about 9:30 I bring out my journal and jot down thoughts about my day, then head upstairs and wash my face/brush my teeth. Sit for a few minutes and meditate (I’ve been using this app to ease into it). It’s another one of those habits that I want to establish before I move because I’ll need all the stress relief I can get. 

Then I climb into bed around 10, where the poochies are already waiting for me.

 

 

Happy things!

1. The hour I take every morning to drink my coffee and read a book, snuggled on the couch with the dogs before others wake up and start the day.

 

2. My dogs. I have such an emotional reliance on them, I’m not always sure it’s healthy.

3. Best friends. Especially when we get to spend whole weekends together. Locking ourselves away in a cabin in the mountains with our core group of friends is just icing on the cake.

 

4. Finding a book good enough to really carry me away in the story.

5. Seeing this chick at work most days of the week (and finding ourselves to be twins for a time):

 

6. A clean apartment and organized work spaces. It’s just the maintenance of such states that needs a little work. I’m not a fan of changing sheets or vacuuming. Putting away shoes and putting dishes in the dishwasher as I use them is a bit easier to handle.

7. The occasional glass of wine at a favorite cafe with just a pen and paper for company

Villa des Agnes cabernet sauvignon

 

8. Finding tasty and healthy recipes that I can make over and over again until I’m sick of them.

9. Going to concerts!

Gaelic Storm at the Georgia Theatre (September 2011)

10. Invitations to ice cream or dinner or drinks or coffee with friends 🙂