“The conversations between your fingers and someone else’s skin. This is the most important discussion you can ever have.” Iain Thomas
The importance of this communication is something you may not recognize until it disappears for awhile, and that is such a shame. It is also something that not everyone understands.
Haven’t we already posted a memory? Oh well.
Back in 2007 my ex adopted a dog that some friends had taken in off the street. I didn’t want a dog. I grew up with cats. Much less a stray off the street. We weren’t married yet and I wasn’t very happy about it. I didn’t know anything about dogs.
I have no idea what I was upset about, but not too long after he took her home I was ugly-crying on his living room floor and she walked over and leaned against me. It was my first experience with the love and emotional support that a dog can give.
Well, I’ve learned to let a lot of things go over the past few years, many of which I have mentioned or hinted at already.
But in the past year, co-habitating with a new boy, I’ve learned to let go certain expectations.
(from a google image search)
Perhaps “giving up” also would apply, but I’ve come to the conclusion that if I want the apartment to maintain a certain base level of cleanliness it’s pretty much all up to me. So I do the dishes after dinner in the evening. I pick up the clothes left lying around the living room. I offer to include any clothes he may need washed with mine (though I’ve learned that if I go two weeks between my own loads he’ll do his own). I’ll sweep the back patio if I want to enjoy it and toss the empty cigarette packs and everclear bottles left from a weekend of drinking. I’ll remove the leftovers that have sat in the fridge for two weeks.
It’s amazing how much infatuation can blind you to the state of their apartment. Looking back I don’t know how I didn’t see the warning signs. But trust me, they will not be missed again.
It’s late and I just randomly thought of something to post for today: five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories.
First up is James Taylor’s Going to Carolina. My dad used to sing it to me at bed time, just like my brother got to hear his Sweet Baby James.
Somewhere in middle school there arrived The Offsprings Pretty Fly for a White Guy on MTV and it set off a huge and continuing love for the band.
Incubus’ Aqueous Transmission actually inspired my undergraduate application essay.
The Beatles’ Blackbird is the epitome of bittersweet. It was and is my absolutely favorite song that Jason would play on guitar. (Although he was damn sexy doing Muse’s Hysteria on the base.)
And now, with my birthday next week, I’d have to say that Jimmy Buffett’s version of Sweet Caroline is very timely. Beginning two years ago, my friends started a tradition of having serenading me with it on my birthday.
In 2011 it involved actually being lifted up on a chair
Let’s not judge the bangs. They’re a lesson that it has taken a long time to learn.
Last year was a smaller gathering, but they still made it happen.
This year I got it a few weeks early at karaoke a few weeks ago.
Oh you bet there’s a video
That followed by Leaving on a Jet Plane, but that’s a story which is still in the works.
I get it from my mom
Not a morning person. Seriously. Don’t f-ing talking to me before I’ve eaten.
Perfectionist. This manifests in procrastination and an inability to admit when I’m wrong (though that’s starting to change).
I love this cartoon
A lack of sociability. This stems from being an introvert, but I really do just need to disconnect for a bit when I get home from work or from another event. If boyfriend has friends over when I get home from work I’ll either need to pour myself a drink or go hide in my room for an hour or so before I can hang out (or both). But this can also stem as quite the cold shoulder in group settings. Apparently I’m the intimidating one when interviewing potential student workers even though I’m almost as nervous as they are!
I’m back! I honestly try to disconnect as much as I can on weekends (which for me are Sundays and Mondays) and rarely open my computer, so it figures that I eventually dropped the ball on the daily blogging efforts.
But day 22 calls for a rant. Android’s lack of updates for slightly older phones tends to irritate me, but I can get a new phone in a month, so it’s really not a big deal.
Let’s talk instead about the way some people treat their dogs.
Monday morning my boyfriend found this little guy wandering around near the maintenance shed when he was walking his dog:
So I started calling nearby leasing offices to tell them we’d found a puppy in case their residents said they lost one and left my contact information.
On the way back from the grocery we stopped to chat with one of the maintenance guys, who just happened to give him his sub earlier in the day because poor puppy is clearly starving
He moved slightly as I took the picture, but you can clearly count his ribs and his poor shoulders and pelvis totally stand out. The maintenance guy said he thought the puppy was left by a guy who didn’t pay his rent.
I know puppies can be expensive, I’ve had Ollie since he was about 6 weeks old, trust me I know. It makes me so sad that I can’t save them all, but to give one a home and just abandon it? That’s just plain shitty.
As sweet as Puppy is, I already have two dogs that I’m trying to move halfway across the country with and I don’t know how easily I can find a place that will let me have three dogs in one apartment. Thankfully I have a couple of people who are interested in adopting him. He’s staying with my ex for now, who has a yard and another dog who is less than a year old and he’s strongly considering adopting Puppy himself. I kind of thought that might happen 🙂
I’m nearing the end of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain, and it made me think of one dinner my family and I had of the trip we took to Disney World many years ago.
When I was a kid I took a book with me everywhere. Reading a restaurant dinner table was completely normal in my mind because I’d never been told differently.
My family went to dinner at the restaurant in our hotel one night, the Wilderness Lodge, and I took my book with me, just like I would have at home.
The waiter arrived to take our drink order and told me to put my book down, I should be enjoying time with my family since I was on a family vacation. I put my book down, waited for him to walk away, and then walked out to the garden behind the lobby, desperately trying to hold back my tears until I made it through the lobby, away from people. My dad followed (or was the one who suggested going outside in the first place?) and helped calm me down and eventually we went back inside.
Needless to say we did not linger over dinner. I’m sure the guy was just teasing, but to my fragile, 12-year-old heart it was genuine criticism. In part because it made sense.
I didn’t intend this to be a sad or upsetting memory, just another reflection of how I’ve grown. I’m even getting to the point where I’ll go get a drink by myself if no one is available to join me on a random Wednesday night.
Yoga followed by wine, it really is the best.
First up, I’d like to thank Ruby at Me, You and Zu for thinking of me! I’d also like to thank Jenni at Story of My Life for inspiring me to start blogging again and hosting the link up that introduced Ruby and I!
Here are the rules for the Super Sweet Blogging Award:
Cookies or cakes? Cakes. Specifically cupcakes, though we had a pretty awesome “million dollar cake” for my grandmother’s 90th birthday on Sunday… chocolate mousse, cheesecake, and chocolate cake all rolled into one. Wow.
Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Definitely chocolate.
Favorite sweet treat? I’ve been on a huge cookies and cream ice cream or milkshake kick lately. But on a more regular basis I have Trader Joe’s dark truffle chocolate.
When do you crave sweet things most? After dinner, but that’s totally just conditioning. I don’t keep sweets at work or buy them from the snack bar, so my brain only expects them in the evenings.
Sweet nickname? Sweet girl (my dad). And the annual rendition of “Sweet Caroline” on my birthday is always fun! (Jimmy Buffet’s version!)
And the (less than a baker’s dozen) nominees are….
Moms Can Be Fabulous
Barb on a Bike
Sage Knits
LaRaquela
Ribbons, Curls, and Camo
The Julie Effect
Zinka Project
LOVE Full Throttle
When I saw this prompt I immediately knew which one I wanted to post. It just took a little digging in the back of my closet to find it. 
I grew up with a neighbor who was able to took riding lessons and thanks to her I fell in love with horses and the Saddle Club series of books. Another friend had a birthday weekend at her family’s house at Big Canoe (or Bent Tree?) when we were 14 and I finally got to ride a horse! I think the expression on my face says it all!
In other thoughts, where can I get a ton of old photos scanned so that I can post them to Facebook and embarrass all my friends (for super cheap, of course!)?
Something difficult about my lot in life and how you’re working to overcome it… hmmm.
I’ve made some decisions in the past that I used to seriously want a time-machine to remedy. I would have gone to a different college. Not gotten back together with an old boyfriend (being out of state at a different college would have helped). Not said yes when he proposed… Majored in something different. Maybe even drawn out the separation and not gotten the divorce papers signed. (I’m way past that regret now, but having the option six months ago…)
Poor decision making, yes, but I don’t regret it as much anymore. I’ve worked hard to make a new path for myself by working full time and taking undergraduate classes for the past five years. Having a lofty goal to work towards and a new plan for my life makes the past not matter so much.
If I’d majored in science the first time around I wouldn’t have had to take so many classes here at UGA, but I also might not have gotten into CSU as easily (they like a few years of real-world experience under your belt).
If I hadn’t gotten married I’d probably still be in Atlanta in a similarly dead-end job, but still going home every weekend for dinners and with no goal for my future. As poorly as the message was delivered, Jason was the one who really pushed me to do something more with my life.
I still adore that dress.
If we hadn’t gotten divorced he’d be pushing even harder to start a family, and then grad school really wouldn’t ever happen for me. We’d be stuck in this small town forever, a place I’ve been sick of for years.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it just takes a little while to gain the perspective required to see it.
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