Things that make me squirm

Doing new things. It’s not so much the novelty, it’s that latent perfectionism that wants to me do it right the first time out of the gate, and the idea that it might take a try or two.

Phone calls. Unless it’s my parents or best friends, it’s probably going to go through to voicemail. How long have I been planning on calling and making doctors appointments now? Two weeks? Making phone calls seems like such an ordeal to me, I can’t say why.

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The shy introvert in me cringes when it comes to interacting with strangers, unless it’s in a work, public service type setting. When I’m out walking my dogs I’m never sure whether to wave to other people in the apartment complex or the maintenance guys or not. So I over-analyze and make myself feel very awkward.

Peeing in a public place. Yes, even still at nearly 28. Unless I’m drinking, then no problem. Or an airport bathroom where there is plenty of other noise. Oh goodness. 

The idea of moving to Colorado alone. The thought of applying for jobs and apartments, alone, from halfway across the country. Biggest source of stress right now.

Drugs. Even alcohol used to make me uncomfortable (when used by others, it never bothered me to partake). The loss of inhibitions and relaxing of self-control would make me paranoid about what the drinker might do. I think that faded as I came to realize that the affect is not that strong, as I learned the affect it has on me. But drugs? Yeah, I haven’t given those the same chance I’ve given alcohol so it can make me a little uncomfortable. (Very strange to have to consider “420 friendly”/”no 420” roommate listings in Colorado.)

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6 Comments

  1. Just came across your blog and just had to comment because I, too, am moving to Colorado alone. Like, next week. It’s crazy! I’m so extremely excited though. I love change and am ready to experience new things in life. I totally hear you on the 420 friendly / not friendly listings (on craigslist?). What part of Colorado are you moving to? I’m moving to Pueblo for a 6-8 month job, then to Fort Collins. Cannot wait! I’ll have to keep reading your posts!

  2. CSU to get my Bachelor’s in Forestry 🙂 But I also just really love Fort Collins. The whole atmosphere is just so relaxed, open-minded, and I’ve found nothing but kind people there. Plus.. mountains! Are you going to be trying to get residency before going to school? That’s my plan which is why I’m waiting until ’14 to start school as well.

    • Yep, I’m deferring my start date for a year so I can get residency. I only got to visit Fort Collins for a few days last month, and that was a whirlwind of department open house and (unsuccessful) apartment hunting. I did get to walk around Old Town and campus some, but not enough to get a really strong sense of the town.

      • Awesome! So have you told the school that that is what you are trying to do? And they are ok with it? I haven’t fully talked it out with them, but I know a few people who have done the same thing. Have you had any luck finding an apartment yet?

      • I haven’t submitted the form yet (I guess I’m holding out just in case something doesn’t work out this other way). You can only defer your start date once, I think. No luck with an apartment. All the one bedrooms were full when I visited, so I’m opening up to the idea of a two-bedroom with a roommate, but that’s a process I’ve just started this week.

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